If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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