what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
