Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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