Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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