cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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