who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
