omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Drunk is not a location!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
