It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
