i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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