So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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