Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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