I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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