My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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