U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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