I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
