I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
