he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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