I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
