from now on my penis is your penis
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize