i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
soo... how was my night?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
