I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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