You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
