please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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