whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
