i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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