im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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