I am puke
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is the high leading the old right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
