Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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