Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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