She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize