she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
