I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
