i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
