He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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