walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
