i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
