Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
