is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hell yes lets make some ravioli
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
