We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
