I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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