What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
