Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
