And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
