two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
