But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
