WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
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