You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
