Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hippo gnu deer
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
