watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
