It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
im on a boat
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