dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
