I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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