Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
