they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
