On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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