evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
