ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Four minutes until I can fart!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
