We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
