It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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