Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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