walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Green mimosas i think yes
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
