I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
